Something To Cry About

Crying is crying, right? Only for the weak? For babies? 

Wrong! Crying is good for grownups, and science has proven it. Bio-chemical research has shown that there is a chemical difference between the tears shed because of emotions and the tears shed due to cutting onions or those that come along with a sneeze.

The difference has to do with emotions. A person must open up to the emotions they feel before the tears will flow. You can beat a pillow for fun and laugh, or beat it out of anger and cry--the emotion makes the difference. 

Holding the tears back increases emotional tension and makes great demands on defense mechanisms such as denial and projection. Bio-chemistry has shown that there are specific toxins contained within emotionally-based tears. Releasing those toxins releases tension from the digestive system, the cardiac system, vision, muscles, and nerves. 

One way to induce a good cry is to seek out some privacy, then watch a sad movie or read a touching book. I personally think a much better way is to give yourself permission to release those tears when you feel them naturally. I guarantee all old crones and old coots out there it won't be long before you'll have an opportunity to shed some tears. So go ahead, and cry as though, indeed, you were crying your heart out, and feel secure that you're really crying the toxins out.

Adapted from an article "Benefits of a Good Cry," at http://www.care2.com

Movie Review - I'm Not Rappaport

The Old Coot asked that I order this movie as he had seen the last part of it on tv and wanted to see the whole movie. He is very much a Walter Matthau fan.
So we watched it a few nights ago. I knew nothing about it except it had originally been a Broadway play. The dialogue, presumably from the play, makes up a good bit of the movie.
Not that there isn't action. Au contraire there is lots of action provided by a drug dealer, a pretty female artist who owed the dealer money, a punk on a skateboard who blackmailed the elderly, and the President of a tenants' association who jogged in his spare time. Add to this plenty of street characters, a carousel, and Central Park for colorful action.
"I'm Not Rappaport" is about storytelling. It combines the talents of Matthau and Ossie Davis to tell the story of the brief relationship between Mel (Matthau) and Midge (Davis) which is built around stories.
Mel's true name is not revealed until the last scene because he still lives out the role of a fantasized Socialist labor union organizer and spends his hours following his philosophy "to shake things up."
Midge serves as his unwilling foil, and straight man, as he reluctantly listens to and believes Mel's tall tales. The plot moves when the men take action on these tales.
The title of the movie comes from a joke that's told three times, and which sums up the movie's theme of loss of identity, or should I say non-identity of the elderly. Not as lyrical, the title could have been "I'm Not A Nobody; I Was An Ordinary Joe, But In Fantasy, I Am Somebody."
This movie has appeal for viewers who love words and syntax as there are jewels of language throughout.

Old Crones and Coots

And So the Wheels Turn

Old Crones and Coots

A Review Of The Savages

A Review Of The Savages

A good friend mentioned this movie to me as one I might be interested in. I'm not sure she had any ulterior motive, but she was right. It was interesting, so I shall critique it and pass it on to you.

It's about aging--realistic aging. It juxtaposes clips of advertising fantasies from retirement community marketing tools with realistic scenes of aging in Sun City and a nursing home.

The point of view is primarily that of two middle-aged siblings, a brother and sister, who have cut themselves off from their father, Lennie, played by Philip Bosco. There is their father's girlfriend, however, and the plot with the three main characters begins with the girlfriend's death. Their father is suffering from dementia and they must find someplace for him to live.

The two major defense mechanisms for handling stress are divided between the brother and the sister. John, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, handles anxiety through thought while Wendy, played by Laura Linney, is all-emotion when she reacts. And both of them turn to prescribed medication when things get really rough; albeit prescribed for someone else, the deceased girlfriend.

There is humor in the movie, just as in reality, so overall it is not a downer although some powerful scenes of aging linger in the mind, for the benefit of the younger crowd, I guess, since I don't think those of us of that are Citizen Seniors need much reminding.

Several scenes make up the ending and leave the viewer and critic with messages that linger. The denouement answers a question which was in the back of my mind of why has there been such an emotional disconnect between parent and "child"?

The question that lingers and remains unasked is did Lenny, the father, bring his final treatment on himself by actions performed half a century earlier and maintained throughout his lifetime? Lenny had a mean personality, and how does one care for a parent like that?

The final ending was satisfactorily upbeat from my perspective. It may have been intended as an inspirational metaphor. For me, however, the metaphor repeats what we know about aging--some people, for one reason or another, reasons which often are out of their control, just do it better.

And as the final scene of the movie shows, living with the resources that are truly needed is better than dying.

Old Crones and Coots

"In the beginning..."

I have been reading The Bible According To Mark Twain to the Old Coot. I have always loved to read out loud and now that he has vision problems, it suits us both. We just finished the first two chapters, "Extracts From Adam's Diary," and "Eve's Diary." The last sentences of Adam's Diary touched us so, I swear I saw tears in the Old Coot's eyes. At least I think they were tears--it was hard to tell since my allergies had set in and my eyes were watering badly. Here are Mark Twain's words:

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning;
it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside without her.
At first, I thought she talked too much; but now I should be sorry to have that voice
fall silent and pass out of my life. Blessed be the sorrow that brought us
near together and taught me to know the goodness of her heart and the sweetness of her spirit!"

Old Crones and Coots

Lazy Limericks

There once was a lazy old crone,
Who got tired of playing alone,
So she created a Blog,
Grew plump as a hog,
And made friends without leaving home!

Old Crones and Coots